Foodies Claim Non-Artisanal Flour Is Poisoning You

For centuries, man has suffered under the unyielding tyranny of the automated mill and its proponents, who have consigned him to flavorless, unethical, and possibly poisonous baked goods. At last salvation is at hand, though, through the good offices of the artisanal food movement! » 11/14/14 2:36pm 11/14/14 2:36pm

How To Stir-Fry Beef, The Most Harrowing And Wonderful Thing

The problem with stir-frying is the common perception that it's this simple, quick way of throwing together a good dinner. I don't really know what to make, and I'm running late getting home from work, so I guess I'll just whip up some stir-fry is the thought process that leads, inexorably, to the 5,973,221st… » 11/08/14 1:00pm 11/08/14 1:00pm

Stephen Colbert Goes In On The Damn Swiss And Their Nazi Creamer

So, some Swiss coffee creamer company put Adolf Hitler on its packaging; last night on The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert had some fun at those bastards' expense. "It is so nice to see the Swiss finally have an opinion on Hitler" is my favorite line, but "I like my coffee like I like my women: without Hitler" is… » 11/04/14 12:29pm 11/04/14 12:29pm

Watch These Non-Ohioans Try To Eat Gross-Ass Cincinnati Chili

Here's twelve non-Ohioans (West-Coasters, specifically) trying to choke down some signature Ohio foods. There's a pretty broad selection of foods, here—Glier's goetta and so forth—but the centerpiece is the Skyline 3-way; they start eating it around 2:10 in the video. Spoiler alert: They think it's gross! » 10/23/14 5:48pm 10/23/14 5:48pm

My Friends, It Is Time To Send Brooklyn Beneath The Waves

One of the challenges of writing about things on the internet is having the discipline to contain yourself, for the sake of being able to call an item of work finished instead of knitting it into some mammoth all-encompassing rant about, like, American culture or capitalism or the human condition or whatever that will… » 10/23/14 1:29pm 10/23/14 1:29pm

This is what happens when you give McDonald's to organic food "experts"

"What happens when you serve McDonald's food to some experts and pretend it's a new organic meal?" ask Sacha and Cedrique. To answer this question they went to a organic food fair in Houten, Netherlands, armed with disguised McNuggets and Big Macs. You can imagine what happens—or just watch their video: » 10/22/14 3:49pm 10/22/14 3:49pm

Bill Murray Reminisces About Slingin' Little Caesars Pizza

Itinerant viral-video elf Bill Murray appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night and talked about making pizzas at Little Caesars earlier in life, "back when Little Caesars was really great." (So, like, presumably before they attempted to turn "our pizzas are old!" into a marketing angle.) He worked there with… » 10/22/14 11:36am 10/22/14 11:36am

Reviewer Jump-Kicks Macho Steakhouse's Dick And Balls Into The Sun

Beast is a self-consciously primal London steak-and-crab restaurant, all ludicrously oversized tables and steaks and crab legs and prices, presented gravely as though in mourning of the fallen at Helm's Deep; a display of such over-the-top machismo that even Vladimir Putin rolls his eyes at it when he flies overhead… » 10/20/14 11:22am 10/20/14 11:22am

How To Make Fried Mozzarella, Instead Of Getting It At A Crummy Bar

It's a perverse testament to fried mozzarella's greatness that even in its shittiest incarnations, even when it's just battered and deep-fried sticks of rubbery Polly-O string cheese prepared and served at your local dire corporate chain eatery with all the care and enthusiasm of a wino tumbling down a flight of… » 10/18/14 11:51am 10/18/14 11:51am