Watch These Non-Ohioans Try To Eat Gross-Ass Cincinnati Chili

Here's twelve non-Ohioans (West-Coasters, specifically) trying to choke down some signature Ohio foods. There's a pretty broad selection of foods, here—Glier's goetta and so forth—but the centerpiece is the Skyline 3-way; they start eating it around 2:10 in the video. Spoiler alert: They think it's gross! » 10/23/14 5:48pm 10/23/14 5:48pm

My Friends, It Is Time To Send Brooklyn Beneath The Waves

One of the challenges of writing about things on the internet is having the discipline to contain yourself, for the sake of being able to call an item of work finished instead of knitting it into some mammoth all-encompassing rant about, like, American culture or capitalism or the human condition or whatever that will… » 10/23/14 1:29pm 10/23/14 1:29pm

This is what happens when you give McDonald's to organic food "experts"

"What happens when you serve McDonald's food to some experts and pretend it's a new organic meal?" ask Sacha and Cedrique. To answer this question they went to a organic food fair in Houten, Netherlands, armed with disguised McNuggets and Big Macs. You can imagine what happens—or just watch their video: » 10/22/14 3:49pm 10/22/14 3:49pm

Bill Murray Reminisces About Slingin' Little Caesars Pizza

Itinerant viral-video elf Bill Murray appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night and talked about making pizzas at Little Caesars earlier in life, "back when Little Caesars was really great." (So, like, presumably before they attempted to turn "our pizzas are old!" into a marketing angle.) He worked there with… » 10/22/14 11:36am 10/22/14 11:36am

Reviewer Jump-Kicks Macho Steakhouse's Dick And Balls Into The Sun

Beast is a self-consciously primal London steak-and-crab restaurant, all ludicrously oversized tables and steaks and crab legs and prices, presented gravely as though in mourning of the fallen at Helm's Deep; a display of such over-the-top machismo that even Vladimir Putin rolls his eyes at it when he flies overhead… » 10/20/14 11:22am 10/20/14 11:22am

How To Make Fried Mozzarella, Instead Of Getting It At A Crummy Bar

It's a perverse testament to fried mozzarella's greatness that even in its shittiest incarnations, even when it's just battered and deep-fried sticks of rubbery Polly-O string cheese prepared and served at your local dire corporate chain eatery with all the care and enthusiasm of a wino tumbling down a flight of… » 10/18/14 11:51am 10/18/14 11:51am

Damn, Millennials, Pizza Hut Thinks You're Super Boring

Much of the content of this Washington Post report on the diverging fortunes of delivery pizza giants Domino's and Pizza Hut—the former is thriving, the latter not s'much—passes harmlessly overhead, as remote and incomprehensible as solar wind washing harmlessly over the Earth's magnetic field. Domino's has a… » 10/16/14 1:41pm 10/16/14 1:41pm

NPR: Ebola Might Make Chocolate Expensive (While Killing Lots Of People)

Yeesh. Lotta scary Ebola news these days. Between the situation in Africa seemingly spiraling beyond anyone's control, a botched containment job at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital, and exposed people breaking quarantine to go strolling around New Jersey, presumably barfing Ebola blood on school bus door handles,… » 10/15/14 1:26pm 10/15/14 1:26pm

Engagement Chicken: A History of Romantic Culinary Bullshit

We're just six weeks short of Thanksgiving, which means two things: First, if your Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year plans involve air travel, book your ticket now or suffer the financial consequences. Secondly, if you're looking to get hitched over the holidays and believe in magic, it might be time to bust out the… » 10/15/14 12:56pm 10/15/14 12:56pm

How To Braise A Big Chuck Roast, And Stave Off Scurvy, For Now

Living the life of a regular person—teetering indefinitely on the edge of total destitution, that is to say—you get familiar with the tension between the limits of your financial wherewithal and the ugh like totally selfish desire to not just eat pasta and plain rice and cereal all the time and get scurvy. » 10/11/14 2:48pm 10/11/14 2:48pm

You Like Bacon Because They Told You To

You are a North American, and probably a male, and so you like bacon. Bacon good, you say, making that Tim Allen caveman face: Me like bacon. Me not want to eat unbacon food. Bacon make food better. Me put bacon on burger, in chocolate, around scallop. Me brush teeth with bacon toothpaste. Me make love to wife with … » 10/06/14 4:50pm 10/06/14 4:50pm

How To Make Roast Pork Tenderloin, The X-Rated Cut Of Meat

There's simply no way around it: The pork tenderloin is weird-lookin'. It's shaped—well, dammit, it's shaped like a big ol' penis. You unwrap it from the butcher paper and you step back and you go, damn, man, this pork tenderloin looks like a dong. Can I manipulate this giant dong? This seems weird. Is this weird?… » 10/04/14 1:14pm 10/04/14 1:14pm