Glasshole Wants You To Wear A Computer On Your Face While You Cook

National Geographic magazine, a mail-order Caring About Things merit badge for baby boomers, has been running a "Future of Food" series on the Plate, its food blog, for the past few months. This month's entry was written by Mary Beth Albright, an attorney, food writer, and former contestant on Food Network Star's… » 8/18/14 2:45pm Monday 2:45pm

Actually, Here Is A Good Ranking Of The Fruits

Many internet web sites like to rank the fruits. You can see right away that these rankings are wrong and bad, both because their results are stupid, and for the reason those results are stupid, which is that they were assembled using a lousy-ass amateurish methodology. Amateur bush-league-ass fruit-rankers are… » 8/14/14 2:15pm 8/14/14 2:15pm

Eating Outdoors Without Flies Landing on Your Food (While Bubbles Fill…


My wife and I hosted a birthday party for our two-year-old son last weekend. Being the thoughtful mom that she is, my wife gave the party a theme: Bubblepalooza. This involved the online purchase of a $15 bubble machine, which cranked a steady flow of bubbles onto the back patio throughout the party. » 8/14/14 12:37pm 8/14/14 12:37pm

How To Make Hushpuppies, Which Are Man's Second-Best Friend

You may already know one of the many (likely apocryphal) hushpuppy origin stories, in some form or another. A familiar one has an old-timey Deep South cook (possibly a slave, depending on the storyteller's willingness to acknowledge the foundational crime of American history) preparing food for some form of large,… » 8/09/14 10:01am 8/09/14 10:01am

There Is No Such Thing as a Chesapeake "Crab Boil," Suckers

"Crab boils date back centuries on the Chesapeake Bay," write the people who are selling "crab boil" events—for $67—in New York City. These people are frauds and liars, selling ersatz "authenticity," pretentious unpretentiousness, a twee New York fabrication that has nothing to do with the tradition it wishes to evoke. » 8/07/14 9:53pm 8/07/14 9:53pm

The Wisconsin State Fair Has One Food-On-A-Stick Too Many

So here's the full list of truncheon-mounted foodstuffs at the Wisconsin State Fair, currently underway in, uh, well, Wisconsin, of course. Actually, no, here's not the full list, because the full list apparently has more entries on it than there are human beings to consume them. Wisconsonianitians sure do love… » 8/06/14 4:45pm 8/06/14 4:45pm

Lay's Cappuccino Potato Chips Are Abominable

The other day, Deadspin's own Albert Burneko thoughtfully suggested we use pork in our New England clam chowder, which of course triggered the tiresome whine-siren of the Regional Food Authenticity Police, who are far more concerned with adhering to the exact chowder ingredients Tom Brady specified in the Mayflower… » 8/06/14 3:23pm 8/06/14 3:23pm

I'm Tony Luke Jr., Host Of SpikeTV's Frankenfood. Let's Chat.

Tony Luke Jr. is the co-host of SpikeTV's Frankenfood, as well as an actor, music producer, and restaurateur whose namesake sandwich shop has grown from a South Philly staple to an international chain. He and his restaurants have appeared on Man vs. Food, Throwdown with Bobby Flay, Dinner: Impossible, and more. He's… » 8/06/14 1:55pm 8/06/14 1:55pm

Eggnog Flavoring Goes Critical, Demolishes New Jersey Food Lab

Maybe you were thinking that eggnog gets its flavor from nutmeg and cinnamon and sugar and booze. Maybe you were thinking that if anything about this rich, sweet beverage were harmful, surely it'd be the raw egg and the cream, and the occasionally gastrointestinally hazardous combination of alcohol and those… » 8/05/14 2:31pm 8/05/14 2:31pm

Gross And Bad NFL Mouthpiece Celebrates Cincinnati's Poo-Food

Sports Illustrated's Peter King, a novelty badger-faced keychain-fob that recites snippets of Roger Goodell's autobiography when you shake it, is doing his annual tour of the NFL's training camps. He's in Cincinnati today, and took a break from uncritically transcribing front-office boilerplate to grab a snack. A… » 8/04/14 3:25pm 8/04/14 3:25pm

How Can You Possibly Love an Adult Who Eats Like a Toddler?

She's a meat-eater; he's vegan. She likes salads; he lives on hot dogs and Cheez Whiz. These are examples of real-life couples whose pairings make no sense to me. Because I could not love a person (romantically) who would never eat vegetables. Or if I did love them, I would consider it star-crossed. Uh,… » 8/03/14 10:06am 8/03/14 10:06am

Taste Test: Milk And Honey Original Café Mix, The Alleged Best Cereal

Back in February, our Tim Marchman posted a list that purported to rank breakfast cereals in order of deliciousness. His selection of something called "Milk and Honey Original Café Mix" for the top spot—on what's a pretty comprehensive list of the breakfast cereals you can find in your typical supermarket, mind… » 7/31/14 3:50pm 7/31/14 3:50pm