How To Ditch The Pillsbury Dough-Log And Make Your Own Cookies

Ah, the chocolate-chip cookie. Many a confectionery addiction kicked off the moment an impressionable youngster watched a vulgar blue puppet shovel platefuls of these things into his gaping, vacant mouth-hole. This obsession probably also explains why the Sexy Cookie Monster costume exists. (Related: I'm still… » 7/22/14 2:00pm Yesterday 2:00pm

My 14-Hour Search for the End of TGI Friday's Endless Appetizers

What if I told you that mozzarella sticks never had to end? That for $10, you could eat for free (for $10) for the rest of your natural life? That there exists a spot in the space-time continuum in which it is always Friday? That there are free refills on all Slushes™ excluding Red Bull® branded items?… » 7/18/14 10:12am Friday 10:12am

Chick-Fil-A's Grilled Chicken: The Emilio Estevez Of Chicken Sandwiches

Eating at Chick-fil-A is always a personal conflict. How do you decide between its super-friendly employees and quality food on the one hand, and the antiquated social views at the top of the company on the other? For the sake of loyal Foodspinners, I put that conflict aside to to help mediate another one: Should… » 7/17/14 3:40pm Thursday 3:40pm

Almond Milk Is Good

Yesterday, Tom Philpott decided to try his hand at food trolling (we invented that, you amateur) by declaring that almond milk is an inferior milk substitute beloved only by "ignorant hipsters." Sadly, some of our own colleagues have been suckered into agreement. All of you are wrong. Almond milk is good. » 7/17/14 1:41pm Thursday 1:41pm

How To Make Seafood Paella, Whether It's Traditional Or Not

Picture the scene! An early summer evening in Valencia, Spain, in the mid-19th century; an aromatic open fire of orange and pine branches, and pine cones, crackles happily in an orchard clearing. A wide, flat pan, enormous, two feet across, sits suspended over the flames. The men, their olde-thymey pants hitched… » 7/12/14 1:02pm 7/12/14 1:02pm

How To Make Macaroni Salad, The Very Least You Can Do

"Hey guys, we're having a [variety of outdoor cookout-y shindig] on [date] at [place], and we'd love for you to come! We'll have beer and [variety of greasy meat], and [dude] has agreed to whip up a batch of his famous [really fatty and gross but also kind of delicious side, probably with little pieces of bacon in… » 7/07/14 11:59am 7/07/14 11:59am

Here Is Your Independence Day Menu

Hey, it's Fourth of July weekend! Why it seems like only yesterday Paul Revere rowed his boat across the Independence River and discovered America or whatever—but it's been 700 years! Crazy. Spare a moment today to doff your mirrored wraparound gun-range goggles in respect for ol' Paul. Paul and the other guys. » 7/04/14 1:30pm 7/04/14 1:30pm

Man V. Food Guy Gets In Trouble For Being An Internet Asshole

The Travel Channel has postponed Man Finds Food, the new show featuring professional human garbage-disposal Adam Richman that otherwise would have debuted tomorrow evening, after the host got into a fracas on the internet over the use of a dumb hashtag. » 7/01/14 1:55pm 7/01/14 1:55pm

Holy Crap, Guy Fieri's 'Cheesecake Challenge' Dessert Is Harrowing

The new menu of the Las Vegas restaurant belonging to celebrity douche-chef Guy Fieri has already made several heaving rounds on the internet, and while many have the courage to laugh at such offerings as pepperoni wrapped breadsticks known as Guy-talian Fondue Dippers, few have the courage to try them. And even fewer… » 6/27/14 4:25pm 6/27/14 4:25pm

Everything I Fucked Up While Trying to Eat Like Gwyneth for a Week

If there's one thing I love, it's cheese-covered gluten. And if there are two things I love, they're cheese-covered gluten and making fun of lifestyle guru and noted Veela Gwyneth Paltrow. So when I came across a copy of Gwyneth's 2014 diet book It's All Good ("delicious, easy recipes that will make you look good and… » 6/27/14 3:16pm 6/27/14 3:16pm

Map: What's The Nearest Burger Joint?

Continuing his "geography of American food and drink" series—which has already looked at pizza places, coffee shops, and grocery stores vs. bars—Nathan Yau of FlowingData has put together a map showing the regional territories of seven major burger chains. » 6/24/14 11:22am 6/24/14 11:22am

Rainbow-Cake Recipe Inspires Comment Apocalypse

This is just a really special moment for humanity. We take you to the website for Fox 101.9, a radio station in Melbourne, Australia, where "Web Guy Josh" has published a peppy, harmless instructional post for the making of an "Amazing Rainbow Tie-Dye Number Surprise Cake." » 6/18/14 12:40pm 6/18/14 12:40pm

How To Make Pancakes, A Marvel Of Labor And Science

The pancake—the notion of the pancake as a breakfast food—comes to us from an older time, a slower time, a time before boxed cereal. A time when your breakfast choices included grinding wheat into flour, mixing it with liquid, and cooking it, or else just chewing on some un-ground wheat like an asshole. Nobody… » 6/14/14 6:33pm 6/14/14 6:33pm

How To Cook A Pork Shoulder On The Grill: A Good Day's Work, For Once

A truth of the modern workplace is that you do a lot of tedious bullshit—meetings and reports and conference calls, spreadsheets and data entry and friggin' change-controls, office politicking and ass-kissing and -covering, long hours and long commutes and long/haggard/grey faces and exhaustion—for the production of… » 5/31/14 1:44pm 5/31/14 1:44pm

Rejoice! Sriracha Triumphs Over Mucous Membranes Of Californians

Condiment news! After some spirited rounds of saber-ratting by both sides, the city of Irwindale, California, has agreed to drop its public nuisance lawsuit against Huy Fong Foods, makers of the best sriracha of all, judging jobs and corporate tax dollars to be more important than, uh, not having to breathe pepper… » 5/30/14 4:00pm 5/30/14 4:00pm

Here Is Your Memorial Day Menu

So it's Memorial Day, a day designated by the federal government for inching glacially northward on I-95 with ten trillion other weekend beachgoers, cursing the day this humid blue turd congealed out of space-garbage in the orbit of a giant ignited fart, secretly desperate to return to the climate-controlled privacy… » 5/26/14 12:07pm 5/26/14 12:07pm