How To Bake Bay Scallops, And Prove That Size Isn't Everything

Seems like bay scallops get kind of a raw deal, doesn't it? At my local purveyor of seafoods, the big honkin' fist-sized sea scallops get a place of honor in the glass display case, while the bay scallops are stuck over in the freezer across the way, packed by the dozens into grim plastic bags, frozen, largely… » 1/24/15 11:35am Saturday 11:35am

Round 2 Of The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs Starts NOW! Vote!

Cheese & Crackers very nearly pulled off a huge upset. The 8-seed, matched up against football snack staple Nacho Cheese Doritos, was almost left off the bracket entirely because your bracketeer thought it perhaps a touch too bougie for this exercise. Which is insane, when you consider that the same bracketeer… » 1/21/15 2:00pm 1/21/15 2:00pm

How To Make Sausage And Peppers: A Guide For The Stir Crazy

This column originally ran on February 16, 2013. However, I've been laid up with strep throat for the past few days, so I'm resurrecting it, both because I haven't been able to cook at all this week, and also because this is what I will cook and eat as soon as I am able to swallow things again. » 1/17/15 11:45am 1/17/15 11:45am

The Bullshit King-Making of Local 'Best Of' Lists

Big-name chef Patrick O'Connell made some news this week with a passive-aggressive swipe at Washingtonian magazine, D.C.'s foremost upper-crust see-and-be-seen monthly chronicle of How The Wealthy Live In Our Nation's Capitol. O'Connell is a blustery fart-bag, and his restaurant is a far-flung capital-D Destination… » 1/08/15 3:21pm 1/08/15 3:21pm

How To Roast Butternut Squash, Which Is Phallic And Fantastic

There's the versatility of, say, a boneless, skinless chicken breast—it tastes bland and uninteresting pretty much no matter what you do with it, so it "goes" with everything, like gustatory khaki—and then there's the versatility of the butternut squash, which is so outrageously goddamn good that you could wrap it in… » 1/03/15 1:36pm 1/03/15 1:36pm

How To Make Eggnog, The Festive Holiday Booze-Shake

In the abstract, the notion that some people don't want to drink eggnog makes sense: diabetics, say, or the lactose-intolerant or egg-allergic, or those principled self-denying oddballs who prefer not to replace their entire body mass gradually with dietary fat and cholesterol until they resemble nothing so much as… » 12/20/14 12:09am 12/20/14 12:09am

2014 Was A Banner Year For Food Spills On Highways

Early this morning, a cargo truck overturned on a Detroit highway, scattering boxes of frozen chicken wings across the asphalt, capping off what has been a remarkable year for highway-spill enthusiasts. Let us now stroll down food-spill memory lane. Watch your footing, it might be slippery. » 12/16/14 3:53pm 12/16/14 3:53pm

Harvard Professor Wets His Dypie Over A $4 Overcharge On Chinese Food

A Harvard Business School associate professor ordered some food from a family-run Brookline, Mass., Chinese joint a few days ago; after reviewing his receipt, he noticed he'd been charged $4 more than the price he expected, based on the restaurant's online menu. And then, in a series of aggrieved emails to the… » 12/09/14 5:19pm 12/09/14 5:19pm

How To Sear Some White Fish, Now That You "Care" About Your "Health"

A recurring rite of adulthood, for the harried and haggard and sad, is feeling ugh so terrible all the time, I'm like a sweaty, gross walrus, it hurts when I do things and my chest makes sounds like a dehumidifier, bluhhhhhh, and making a half-assed resolution to start doin' the right things, dammit, start takin'… » 12/06/14 12:12pm 12/06/14 12:12pm