Which Animals Are The Worst To Eat, Morally?

People put domesticated animals on a pedestal. Sometimes humans get even more riled up when athletes kill dogs than when they kill other humans. And they flip shit over the mere suggestion of putting horse meat on the market. » 11/07/14 1:43pm 11/07/14 1:43pm

Things I Consumed At The Minnesota State Fair, Ranked

Since I married a Minnesotan, I married into Midwestern food traditions like hot dish and pannekoeken. An annual part of that tradition includes The Great Minnesota Get-Together, the second-largest state fair in the country, and its bounty of culinary delights. » 8/29/14 11:30am 8/29/14 11:30am

Actually, Here Is A Good Ranking Of The Fruits

Many internet web sites like to rank the fruits. You can see right away that these rankings are wrong and bad, both because their results are stupid, and for the reason those results are stupid, which is that they were assembled using a lousy-ass amateurish methodology. Amateur bush-league-ass fruit-rankers are… » 8/14/14 2:15pm 8/14/14 2:15pm

Taste Test: Milk And Honey Original Café Mix, The Alleged Best Cereal

Back in February, our Tim Marchman posted a list that purported to rank breakfast cereals in order of deliciousness. His selection of something called "Milk and Honey Original Café Mix" for the top spot—on what's a pretty comprehensive list of the breakfast cereals you can find in your typical supermarket, mind… » 7/31/14 3:50pm 7/31/14 3:50pm

Coconut Water Not All That Good For You, Also Lousy And Gross

Many people like to drink coconut water. Some like to drink it because they believe it contains miraculous health-chemicals. Others like to drink it because they believe it tastes good. Both of these groups are incorrect. » 7/30/14 5:20pm 7/30/14 5:20pm

The Top 10 Items Worth Stealing From Publix

When news broke this morning that Heisman winner Jameis Winston may have been busted for lifting some crab legs from a Tallahassee-area Publix supermarket, we felt a bit sad. There are way better things to shoplift from the store Where Shopping Is A Pleasure™, after all. Here are ten of those things. » 4/30/14 1:00pm 4/30/14 1:00pm

Skyline Figures You'd Like Blue Noodles Under Your Diarrhea Sludge

Would you get a load of that horror. I mean lean on in here and get a nice big load of it. That is a pair of tubs of pasta, dyed red and blue by Louisville's Skyline Chili locations as a... what? celebration? like hell! ...of the upcoming Louisville-Kentucky Sweet 16 matchup. Because Skyline Chili figures that if… » 3/25/14 5:30pm 3/25/14 5:30pm

Cheap Bourbons, Ranked

Each year around mid-August, publicists start burying everyone in the food journalizing racket with ideas for Thanksgiving coverage. Most of their emails concern ways in which a client, usually a lesser television chef or an agricultural marketing board, can enhance your stuffing with this or that upscale mushroom or… » 11/25/13 3:01pm 11/25/13 3:01pm

The Best Food In Movie History, Ranked

Please note that these rankings are based strictly on appetite appeal and NOT on the quality of the scene therein. Also, desserts count and documentary scenes do not. » 11/22/13 5:06pm 11/22/13 5:06pm

The Great American Menu: Foods Of The States, Ranked And Mapped

What are the United States' best regional foodstuffs? Its worst? These are the questions that bedevil the mind of man—but no longer! For here, we have ranked them. Rigorously scientific (not), ardently researched (nope), and scrupulously fair (not even a little bit): this is the Great American Menu! » 10/17/13 5:13pm 10/17/13 5:13pm